Thought wretched excess went out with parachute pants in the 80s? Have we got a tour for you.

Does America really need a thousand-dollar pizza?

Probably not, but we’ve got one anyway. Not to mention a thousand-dollar omelet. There’s even a thousand-dollar chocolate sundae.

The thought of this kind of wretched excess tends to turn our stomachs, but we have to admit that it also piques our interest.

A slice of the $1,000 pizza.

So we found a guide to this world of tasteless extremes: a 27-year-old, too-smart-for-his-age bon vivant named Jeremy Abelson. He’s the founder of an online newsletter, “Pocket Change,” which showcases the most expensive and outrageous consumption in New York and Los Angeles.

“To expose… the ludicrous elements of luxury, I think, is gratifying for audiences that don’t spend that much money,” Abelson said. “I think that people read the pages of ‘US Weekly’ with a little bit of disgust. They’re entertained, but they’re also disgusted a little bit.”

We asked him to show us the most disgusting spending New York City has to offer in an outrageous tour of the city — not just prohibitively expensive, but absurdly so. A tour that, if we were actually paying for it, would cost in excess of a million dollars for one day. (Note that People of the Web adheres to strict journalistic ethics: we don’t accept freebies. We did not partake in any of the high ticket consumables presented in this piece.)

Jeremy Abelson is the founder of the online newsletter Pocket Change.

It all began over breakfast at Norma’s in Le Parker Meridien Hotel in midtown — home of the thousand-dollar omelet, although it actually goes by the name “zillion-dollar frittata.”

The omelet is a rich concoction of eggs, lobster, Yukon Gold potatoes and Iranian Sevruga caviar that goes for about $700 a pound. The hotel’s public relations department told us the thousand-dollar plate has been sold at least 10 times. They also sell a $100 version (with less caviar) at the rate of two a month.

After the omelet, we caught a regular old NYC taxi to our next stop — a taxi that someone had the audacity to puke in the night before — but that was the end of our slumming for the day. After that it was a parade of $200,000 Ferraris, $450,000 yachts, $20 million apartments on Columbus Circle with floor-to-ceiling views of the city in every direction and a consultation with matchmaker Janis Spindel, who says for half-a million dollars all you have to do is draw a picture of your dream woman and she will make her appear.

Call us cynical, but if you have $500,000 to spend on a matchmaker, you can probably make lots of dream women appear — as well as a few nightmares.

But the cars, the yachts and the high-end apartments aren’t what make us cluck our tongues in disapproving disbelief. It’s the small stuff — stuff like thousand-dollar omelets, pizzas and ice cream sundaes.

Janis Spindel will set you up with the person of your dreams. But it will cost you as much as $500,000.

Of course, the motivation behind the pricing is to get the press — like us — to write about it.

Then, if you top it with caviar, they will come, and pay for it.

Take Nino’s Bellissima Pizza, where a cool thousand can get you a 12-inch, thin-crusted pie layered with crème fraiche and topped with lobster tail and four different types of caviar. As with the omelet, it’s the fish eggs that turn a ten dollar pizza into a wallet-busting event. Nino’s owner, Nino Selimaj, said that after spreading $750 worth of caviar, he’s left with a measly $250 profit.

“Delicioso,” said Abelson as he sampled the work. “I think that was a $33 bite.”

We took Jeremy’s leftover slices out for some second opinions.

A Domino’s delivery guy gave the pie the thumb’s down. “Where’s the garbage?” he asked, after tasting the pizza.

But Anthony, a downtown vendor, said he thought it was worth every penny.

An alter ego
All of the items featured on Pocket Change are reviewed by Abelson’s fictional alter ego, a trust fund windbag named Richard Nouveau, who both promotes and lampoons the so-called “good life” by guiltlessly indulging in it.

The fictional character Richard Nouveau serves as the editorial voice of the Pocket Change site.

“He represents New York luxury to us,” says Abelson.

This fictional creation may reflect Abelson’s doubts about the value of what he is doing. His own mother has questioned whether this is the best use of his talents. After seeing one of his projects win widespread news coverage, she asked him why he wasn’t out saving Darfur instead.

So why isn’t he doing something more socially relevant?

“I think the nature of what we cover, being that we are covering blatant materialism, leads people to question my morality,” he said. “But on a personal level, I’m very involved and I am very charitable. But I hear what you’re saying. We have a very visible vehicle that we are using — although we’re mocking it — to broadcast materialism.”

Sweet finish
Blatant materialism or not, every million dollar day should have a few sweet notes. Ours was topped with, as you might have guessed, caviar — this time, caviar infused with passion fruit and Armagnac. It’s the only dessert caviar in the world.

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the Golden Opulence Ice Cream Sundae, served by Manhattan restaurant Serendipity, is the most expensive sundae in the world.

Here’s why: according to the restaurant, the chocolate is made with chuao cacao beans from Venezuela, where they only harvest 400 kilos a year. The vanilla ice cream is infused with Madagascar vanilla. And the sundae is covered in real gold leaf.

Serendipity’s $1,000 sundae is served with gold spoons.

“Gold doesn’t have flavor,” said our waiter, “but it does have texture. It absolutely won’t hurt you. In fact, some people think ingesting gold is good for you.”

“I am one of those people who do think that ingesting gold is very good for you,” Abelson quipped.

Of course, you can’t eat a sundae like this with a plastic spoon. It’s served in Baccarat crystal and eaten with a golden spoon. When you’re done, you get to walk out with the bowl but the spoon stays put.

Pocket Change intern Sara Bradshaw looked like she would burst into tears when she tasted the sundae. “Wow. It’s so good.”

“I’m in love, I’m obsessed,” said Abelson.

An ice cream sundae that costs more than a plane ticket to London could be a fleeting romance.

By the end of the tour, we had tipped the scales at $1,234,713 for a day of extreme overindulgence. Although we didn’t actually shell out the cash, it does give you pause about just how much damage you can do with more money than brains.

Jessica Seinfeld, like many busy parents, struggled to get her three kids to eat healthily. After much trial-and-error — and many mealtime battles — she discovered a foolproof system: delicious and easy-to-make stealth recipes that sneak in puréed veggies so kids will never suspect the foods they love are actually good for them!

Her new book, Deceptively Delicious, is packed with Jessica’s own mouthwatering recipes, tips on making healthy snacks and improving store-bought foods, and her advice on creating harmony around the kitchen table. Now, parents will never again have to say “Eat your vegetables!

Jessica will be sharing some of her secrets and the inspiration behind her new book on Oprah on October 8! The book will hits the shelves October 5th

GridIron Club spaghetti dinner Thursday
The Trigg County GridIron Club is having a spaghetti Dinner and meet the Wildcats Thursday at the school cafeteria. 

For a $5 donation, you can eat in or carry out a spaghetti dinner and meet the Wildcat football team.Carry outs will begin at 4pm.  All proceeds benefit the Trigg County GridIron Club.

( Public Domain Image Of The Madonna With The Yarnwinder By Leonardo da Vinci )

Police may have recovered the stolen Leonardo da Vinci masterpiece The Madonna With The Yarnwinder.

Police have recovered a painting they suspect could be a Leonardo da Vinci masterpiece that was stolen in 2003.
The Madonna With The Yarnwinder, worth £25m, was stolen from Drumlanrig Castle in Dumfries and Galloway.

A police spokesman confirmed a painting had been recovered, but would not reveal further details.
Tests are being carried out to verify its authenticity.
Thieves posing as tourists took the Madonna With The Yarnwinder from the castle, 17 miles north of Dumfries, on August 27, 2003.
Two men overpowered a female member of staff and grabbed the artwork off the wall before making off in a white VW Golf which was later found abandoned three miles away.

Scuttlebutt is a digest of major sailing news, commentary, opinions,
features and dock talk . . . with a North American focus. Scuttlebutt is
distributed each weekday with the support of its sponsors.

GETTING READY TO HOIST THE ANSWERING PENNANT
VALENCIA, Spain (AP) America’s Cup organizers are considering postponing
the 2009 event because of continued legal wrangling over proposed rules
changes. America’s Cup Management said Wednesday that it “is concerned
that the feasibility of organizing the next America’s Cup in Valencia in
2009 has been effectively compromised” due to Golden Gate Yacht Club’s
lawsuit against Societe Nautique de Geneve, the home club of winner
Alinghi. “ACM is considering all options, including the possibility of
postponing the event to a later date,” the group said in a statement.

Golden Gate’s BMW Oracle Racing sued SNG in July over proposed rules
changes for the next America’s Cup. The San Francisco-based syndicate is
looking to remove Desafio Espanol as the official challenger and halt
rules changes that include a change of boat class. Golden Gate claimed
the Spanish syndicate is an “invalid challenger” because it never held
a regatta as stipulated in the rules of the “deed of gift,” the
regulations that govern the America’s Cup.

New York state’s Supreme Court, which has jurisdiction to settle all
disputes in the competition, will hear arguments in the case on Oct. 22.

ACM chief executive Michel Hodara said the lawsuit was the sole problem.
“Nothing has changed. We are just saying that now we find ourselves in
a situation where time is the problem,” Hodara said. “We have reached
a stage and we have to face the reality of the situation.”

BMW Oracle Racing said it was “concerned” by the news. “We have been
urging mediation and-or a speeded up court process for some time now …
and the defender has resisted this,” spokeswoman Jane Eagleson said.
“Maybe this is the right time for everyone to get together and sort out
this protocol once and for all.”

ACM said it will consult with Alinghi, Desfio Espanol, the other five
challenging teams and Spanish authorities “in the coming days” to
discuss the matter. — Paul Logothetis, AP, full story:
http://tinyurl.com/yrvxw6

OPINION
Delaying the next Cup might not even be an option given Valencia’s
bigger project, that of extending the container port, a massive
engineering exercise that would involve a land fill up to 1 mile out to
sea. It is understood that while the city would be happy to host the
next Cup, it needs to get on with the building of this new commercial
port and that the Cup would have to be held in 2009. So maybe ACM’s
release is more about preparing for court and being able to demonstrate
to the judge that the Bertarelli camp tried everything it could to avoid
ending up in litigation. –Yachting World - Matthew Sheahan, full
commentary: http://tinyurl.com/2vunvc

QUOTE / UNQUOTE
“Ernesto Bertarelli and Alinghi helmsman Ed Baird are paying visits in
New York City and San Francisco this week in an attempt to win opinion
makers to the defender’s point of view. I figure it’s a tough sell. No
way have Americans rallied around Bertarelli’s chief opponent, Larry
Ellison/ Golden Gate YC, as a flag bearer against the protocol of
America’s Cup 33. (My British colleague, Tim Jeffery, reports that
Bertarelli and Ellison have recently, finally, talked by phone.) But
neither have Americans embraced the defender’s ideas, and my own
reception to the protocol was cool from the start.” — Kimball
Livingston, Sail magazine, full commentary: http://tinyurl.com/33d7×7

WINNER TAKES ALL
On October 6, the nation’s top Olympic and Paralympic hopefuls will sail
to starting lines on the U.S. East and West coasts to compete in the one
regatta that will have the most dramatic impact on their sailing careers
so far in this quadrennium: the U.S. Olympic & Paralympic Team Trials –
Sailing. Coordinated by US Sailing and six host organizations, this
winner-takes-all regatta determines which sailors will represent the
United States at the 2008 Olympic and Paralympic Games. Upon approval
from the U.S. Olympic Committee (USOC), the athletes who win the Trials
will be named to the U.S. Olympic and Paralympic Teams. The regatta
concludes on Sunday, October 14.

According to Dean Brenner, chairman of US Sailing’s Olympic Sailing
Committee, the ability to select the Olympic and Paralympic teams
concurrently in 11 classes and nearly a year before the 2008 Games will
have a great benefit to the U.S. team. “Up until this point, the focus
of the Olympic Sailing Committee has been preparing all our athletes for
these Trials,” said Brenner. “But once the Trials are over, we will all
shift into the next phase together, as a team—and the focus of our
energies and resources becomes concentrated on those sailors who will
represent our country at the 2008 Games.”

The venues for the US Olympic Trials are:
* Star / California Yacht Club / Marina del Rey, Calif.
* 49er / Southwestern Yacht Club / San Diego, Calif.
* Finn / Newport Harbor Yacht Club / Balboa, Calif.
* Tornado / San Diego Yacht Club / San Diego, Calif.
* 470 Men, 470 Women, RS:X Men, RS:X Women / Alamitos Bay Yacht Club /
Long Beach, Calif.
* Laser, Laser Radial / Rhode Island Sailing Foundation / Middletown,
R.I.
* 2.4mR, SKUD-18, Sonar / Rhode Island Sailing Foundation / Newport,
R.I.

Event website: http://www.ussailing.org/olympics/OlympicTrials

IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT…
But you can stay warm, dry, and comfortable from all the awesome gear at
Team One Newport! Bad weather is not a problem if you have the proper
gear. Not sure what you need, then just “Ask Martha” on the website and
get advice from the Expert! Be sure to check out some incredible
off-price items on the SPECIALS page including the Henri-Lloyd Breeze
jacket and vests (25% off), Railriders Hydro shirts (in selected colors
- 25% off), and Extrasport PFD’s (30% off). All are great for Holiday
presents or maybe even a gift for yourself! Visit
http://www.team1newport.com or call 800-VIP-GEAR (800-847-4327).

GROUPAMA 3 REVEALED
When your boat heels 10 degrees and you rise 15 to 20 ft in the air,
you’re experiencing the elevator sensation skipper Franck Cammas feels
every time he helms the ‘G’ Class trimaran Groupama 3. These ‘Giant’
(that’s what the ‘G’ stands for) multihulls were built to break ocean
records: distance records, around-the-world records and speed records.
They regularly sail at speeds in the mid-30 knot range with bursts into
the 40s. Harken outfitted Groupama 3 with complete deck hardware and
winches, and have provided for Scuttlebutt their engineering brief on
what it took to design and build the gear to control and transform
Groupama’s power into forward motion. –
http://www.harken.com/sailing/GroupAma3_EngineeringBrief.php

VIDEO OF THE WEEK
If you have been thinking of getting a small inflatable dinghy, but
haven’t come up with enough reasons to justify it, this week’s video
might swing the deal. Enter the Flying Boat. Leave it to the Brazilians,
where the rules are likely a bit more lax, to even consider trying this.
They have taken 12-foot RIB, attached a hang-glider wing, added an
ultralight engine, and have successfully created a boat that can fly. It
can carry a load of nearly 1,000 pounds, fly for a max of 131 miles, and
claims to be the only type of seaplane that can land and take off with
waves up to 3-feet. Why do we think there is no way the Flying Boat
could ever be legal in the US? Regardless, the next 7:11 minutes might
forever change the way you look at RIBs. Also, if you have a video you
like, please send us your suggestions for next week’s Video of the Week.
Click here for this week’s video:
http://www.sailingscuttlebutt.com/media/07/1001

REGATTA MANAGEMENT: REFLECTING INDUSTRY CHANGE
There’s become an expectation within society these days to be able to
manage and do just about everything online: Dating, paying your taxes,
grocery shopping, banking, buying concert tickets, and renting movies.
People expect to do all of these things effortlessly, online, 24×7, with
the click of a mouse. This same change is happening in the sailing
industry too, albeit at a much slower pace.

Why is it that with all of the technology advances in the past decade,
the sailing industry at large, still finds itself reverting back to
completing hand written forms, licking a stamp and relying on the
postman to enter a regatta? Wouldn’t we all enjoy the time savings and
convenience of doing this online? The good news for everyone is that
online entry is here, is available now, and is relatively simple to set
up for your club. It has actually been around for some time, while some
yacht clubs are reluctant to get on board, most yacht owners are
praising the clubs that have embraced online regatta management. — Read
on: http://www.sailingscuttlebutt.com/news/07/1002a

US-based online regatta management services:
* Compete-At.com - http://www.Compete-At-Sailing.com
* Yacht Scoring - http://www.yachtscoring.com

SAILING SHORTS
* The 2007-2008 ICSA/ Vanguard Men’s and Women’s Singlehanded National
Championship will be hosted by the University of Washington on November
2-4, 2007. Racing will be out of the Shilshole Bay Marina on the waters
of the Puget Sound. The sailing area will be located in Shilshole Bay,
with open water conditions and tidal currents being a factor. The event
will be sailed in Vanguard-provided Lasers. Additional information
available from Regatta Chair Alex Jones: mailto:amj3@u.washington.edu

* 177 boats have currently paid up for the 14th annual Baja Ha-Ha, the
cruisers’ rally from San Diego to Cabo San Lucas, with R&R stops at
Turtle Bay and Bahia Santa Maria. The entire fleet starts at the same
time off Pt. Loma on the morning of October 29. The entry list so far is
five short of last year’s record number, with some of the participants
including the 94-ft Havfruen from British Columbia, the Perry 72
Elainium, the classic 1934 70-ft S&S yawl Alsumar, the Farr 58 Tribute,
two J/160s, two SC50s, and 15 mulithulls. For the complete entry list,
visit http://www.baja-haha.com

* With a record setting 100 boats pre-registered, the 2007 A-Class World
Championship will be held November 12-16. The regatta will take place at
The Islander resort hotel in Islamorada, FL. The Islander has been
hosting the US A-Class for its last two midwinter race weeks and was the
unanimous choice by the US class as the best venue to host this world
championship. The race site is a 9 square area of the Atlantic Ocean
protected by an offshore reef. Sailors will enjoy clear aqua water and
hopefully warm and consistent easterly winds of 8-15 knots. — Full
report: http://www.sailingscuttlebutt.com/news/07/1002/

J/FEST AND ARGOSY RACES HIGHLIGHT END OF SEPTEMBER
Ullman Sails customers had outstanding finishes last weekend to cap off
September in Southern California. San Diego Yacht Club hosted J/Fest
2007, where Doug and Pam Werner’s ‘Javelin’ decisively clinched the
J/105 fleet. All but one J/105 in the 15-boat fleet competed with full
Ullman Sails inventories. Further north, Robert Plant and Erik Shampain
won first in class and first overall on Hobie 33 ‘Still Crazy’ in both
days of the NOSA Argosy Races, September 29-30. Around the buoys or up
the coast, Ullman Sails has the ‘Fastest Sails on the Planet.’ Contact a
local loft and visit http://www.ullmansails.com
LETTERS TO THE CURMUDGEON
Letters selected for publication must include the writer’s name, and may
be edited for clarity or simplicity (letters shall be no longer than 250
words). You only get one letter per subject, so give it your best shot,
don’t whine if others disagree, and save your bashing and personal
attacks for elsewhere. As an alternative, a more open environment for
discussion is available on the Scuttlebutt Forum.

– Scuttlebutt Letters: editor@sailingscuttlebutt.com
– Scuttlebutt Forum: http://sailingscuttlebutt.com/forum

* From Art Ahrens: It is interesting that Melges announces the M20
around the same time Sailing World magazine gives all the hoopla over
the Laser SB3. They both sound like great boats. I only hope that the
competition keeps the prices in line!!

* From Peter Commette: Regarding Bob White’s correction of the identity
of the youngest Snipe world champion, that’s an amazing accomplishment
for him and his twin sister to have won the Snipe Worlds at 17. Bob
pointed out that they were the only brother/sister team to ever win the
Worlds, but he missed something even more basic about their
accomplishment. According to the Snipe records, as far as I can tell
(the Snipe records are a little sketchy on this), when Bob and Betty won
in 1945, Betty was the first woman to win the Snipe Worlds, and it’s
only been done once since. Augie Diaz won with Pam Kelly in 2005.

Hats off to the Whites’ multiple accomplishments in that regatta, and
hats off to Tomas Hornos for becoming in September what we now know was
the second youngest to win the Snipe Worlds. I think Dave Chapin also
won at 19, but I doubt he won it on his birthday, like Tomas. Fabini won
it at 20. That’s about as far as my Snipe knowledge and the sketchy
Snipe records of old take me.

* From Peter Strong, Director, US Sailing Center - Martin County: From
the point of view of a junior program coach, the more fair races the
better. Kids train hard for the regattas that they attend and the
parents spend a lot of their time and money to get the kids to the
regatta. To travel 4 or more hours to a regatta then not race when there
is enough breeze is very frustrating. I recently took my Opti team to a
regatta where after floating all morning the breeze came in in the
afternoon. We got a couple of races in and then around 4:30 the Race
Committee decided to take the fleet in while there was still enough wind
to get another race in. Why does there seem to be an unwritten rule that
we cannot race after 5? The kids are used to practicing until dark after
school. At the time of the year this regatta was held there was light
until 7pm. Plenty of time to get one more race in.

When talking to all the kids and parents they get very frustrated with
not racing when its possible. The same thing goes for postponing on
land. Do it on the water do that as soon as the breeze comes up, a race
can be held. I’m sure many of you have been out practicing in racing
conditions while the RC is just taking down the postponement and leaving
the dock. I realize that different fleets have different attitudes on
this subject, but it is just frustrating to organize 15 families to go
to a regatta then sit on the beach looking at breeze while the RC is
having cocktails.

* From Derek Bouwer: (regarding the thread beginning in Issue 2443) In
the good old day of deep keeler racing, one race a day per day of the
regatta was deemed adequate to determine a winner. Then along came small
fast one design racing boats, e.g. J/22 (I’ve just sold mine), and these
quick, easy-to-rig and handle boats just shouted to be sailed more than
one race a day. The poor race committees were then put under pressure to
run more and more races each day. Ending up in a case where we run a
regatta where the keelers did one race a day, while the J/22’s ended up
doing 3-4 and coming home in the dark to cold showers and warm beers!

Added to this the introduction of discard races forced race committee to
introduce more and more races into regattas. This gave those poor souls
who were racing badly the mistaken belief that they could improve their
results by sailing badly in more races and discarding the really bad
ones. My personal belief is that racing one race a day, forces you to be
on the money in every race as there is little chance to recover from a
bad one. This forces keelers to practice, practice, and practice some
more to get on top of their game.

* From Eric Lind: In response to Bill Heintz diatribe against RC and
races/day (in Issue 2443) — Read the NOR and decide if you want to
partake. As a well seasoned RO of the Regional level, I think that you
are making much of nothing here. I worked between 15 - 20 events this
year of varying size and scope and each was at the instruction of the
organizing group. Some want many races per day, some do not. Bottom
line, don’t blame the PRO or the RC as they are usually acting at the
behest of the OA.

* From Richard Loufek (re curmudgeon’s comment about those who travel to
the regatta): Interesting perspective. I am always of the opposite
feeling. If I traveling out of town by several hours, I have made a
major weekend (or longer) commitment to race. I want to spend a long day
racing, then enjoy the evening and night with the racers. The long day
racing and socializing is what I came for. I am not heading home to do
chores, or head to a friends dinner party. I traveled to race. If I am
heading to my local club for a “local” race, they may start at 1 PM, be
done by 4:30 leaving me to do other activities if I so desire. I had
breakfast with the family, rode my bike, did chores, raced and had a
drink with the sailors after the race. Great day for me.

* From Michael Levesque: It’s a weird thing, this number of races
debate. The example you give (travel time) can also go either way. I’ve
heard sailors say things like “I didn’t travel all this way just to race
three races.” Other than being cold (or tired if it’s really windy), or
keeping people on the water too long on Sunday (when they have a long
drive home), I’ve never heard anyone complain that there were “too many
races.”

The big thing that bothers most sailors I know is bobbing in the water
while watching RCs waste time between races because they don’t have
their act together. Or, being sent in after two or three races, when the
wind is still good and there’s another hour or two before anyone would
conceivably need to be in getting ready for the party.

CURMUDGEON’S OBSERVATION
“The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.” — John Browning

Special thanks to Team One Newport and Ullman Sails.

My China kit

With less than two weeks before I return home from Peking University, it’s time I finally offered some scattered thoughts on two of my favorite films of all time, two films which have kept this lonely scholar company during his solo foray: Pootie Tang and Etre et Avoir (To Be and to to Have). Released in 2001 and 2002, respectively, these two movies have a great deal more in common than one would expect from their dust jacket precis. The first sentences of each tells us everything, and nothing, all at once.

PT: “Women can’t resist him. Evil can’t withstand him…”
EeA: “All over France, there are still examples of what are known as ’single-class schools’…”

Despite these apparent differences, there is a fundamental commonality which connects them. Allow me if you will…

Pootie and Etre are, at least to this spiritually inclined yet religiously undecided viewer, both contemporary revisualizations of biblical stories cast in such a way that one is left thinking: if there is any truth to these stories in the first place, then this is perhaps what they would have really looked and sounded like. Let’s begin with Pootie Tang.

Pootie Tang, played masterfully by Lance Crouther, is essentially the Buddha, Christ, and Bruce Lee rolled into one, and yet he captures certain dimensions of each of these archetypes normally muted in other treatments. For one thing, he is an ascetic polymath, yet one whose asceticism operates within a field of almost total hedonism. He lives the life of a global megastar, and yet is impervious to all its seductions (save one, which you can see for yourself). It is his asceticism, moreover, which makes him at once inspiring and irresistible to those who wish to believe, and at the same time infuriates and imperils those whose aim it is to shape the beliefs and conducts of others through the power they exercise. This is to say: whereas the Buddha and Christ are often portayed as “guys you’d really like to get a beer with,” in fact they would have been almost unbearably brilliant to be around. Only those with sufficient reserves of coal could have withstood being in the presence of either. The rest would have been incinerated immediately, or would have sought refuge in the cooler waters of the mainstream, the more peaceful and predictable exchanges found within the red dust.

Let’s move for a moment to Etre. In this film, the teacher George Lopez is, to his kindergarten and elementary school students, essentially a God-like figure. He assists them in navigating early life, becoming self-aware, and encouraging them to choose paths which are at once sponteaneous, satisfying, and moral. But unlike most portrayals of the God-head, his powers are clearly demarcated. He cannot see into his students’ minds, and instead must be a student of them. Take for instance a wonderful scene in which, for what seems like the very first time in one cohort of children, one student pushes another to the ground and causes him to cry. In essence, what the child has done has invented a new form of violence which, at least in this tiny world, had not existed before. After the deed is done, everyone is shocked and the teacher is sought out. Rather than pontificating to the children about violence, however, he very earnestly and vulnerably asks the offending student why did you do it? One gets the sense that he’s posed this question before to students past, and yet still does not understand how this moment of invention - this bringing into being of the violent act - always seems to reappear within human communities at roughly the same time. Unmoved by those answers which explain this behavior on behalf of the child, such as in the comparative social sciences, the teacher wants to hear the answer directly from the one and only person who has the authority to explain the act: the student himself. And yet the student is unable to do so. He does not know where this moment of genius came from, since genius is by its very nature the innovative act which, from any angle one views it, lacks all precedent: 无中生有. And so, confronted with this silence, Henry Lopez has no power to answer it for the child. The student does not know, and so the teacher cannot know either. I believe and like this idea very much, and am thankful to Etre for planting it in my mind.

Returning to Pootie, we also encounter the Devil and the act of a soul being sold. Dick Lecter, spun with flair and ease by Robert Vaughn, recites to Pootie the contract he has just been tricked into signing. It begins:

I, Pootie Tang, do surrender to Lecter Corp all the rights to my image and likeness.

What is brilliant about this scene is that it uses the language of everyday contracts to capture what, in essence, is the single most damning, self-enslaving action a person can take. And yet I encourage the reader to reread carefully the contract he or she has signed with Gmail, Myspace, and, for those who have had the strange delight, television reality shows. The price of infinite storage is, as you will see, complete transparency: the opening up of one’s most private exchanges, not to human censors, but to data mining algorithms which in recent years have become the new fossil fuel of the consumer economy: a new and seemingly inexhaustible sea of willingly donated data which powers a vast engine of market analysis, propaganda (不好意思, in the U.S. they’re called media campaigns), and social engineering. 

I realize this is my heaviest blog yet, so here’s something to lighten the mood: I call it the “Urumqi Soviet Black Cat Boat”

Likewise, the price of exposure (suddenly I hear Radiohead’s We suck young blood in the background) is splicing: having one’s “image and likeness” cut into an untold number of audiovisual fragments, and subsequently interwoven with other samples of speech and sound and image with which it was initially disconnected, non-contiguous, unrelated. This is precisely why all the candidates on Project Runway scowl at precisely the moment when one would expect them to. It is because that scowl - which seems so telling of the very thing being told to us - was, when originally recorded, completely disconnected from the context in which it was later spliced. Point a camera at someone long enough, and you will see all of her expressions. Once in possession of all of her expressions, the act of splicing - a simple technology by now - enables the editor to create that person in virtually any form he or she likes. As Superchunk put it, Here’s where the strings come in.

That moment in Pootie, subtle and simple as it was, brought this message home for me: normally regarded as an exceptional act engaged in only by the likes of Doctor Faustus, and one whose consummation is reserved for hallowed sites like Robert Johnson’s crossroads, in fact we pawn our souls off all the time, for the most ridiculous of reasons, at the most unceremonious of intersections. I give my thanks to Pootie Tang for presenting this so clearly, and making me laugh at the same time.

As often happens with this blog, lunchtime has arrived before I was able to present a complete thought. My apologies!

[In closing, I would like to extend special thanks to my friends Alex and Nicole, who introduced me to Pootie and Etre, respectively, and who also arranged the appropriate viewing conditions.]

Thomas S. Mullaney
Assistant Professor
Modern Chinese History
Stanford University

Former host of ‘The Price Is Right’ Bob Barker and CBS are facing the a tenth lawsuit. The long-running series’ most recent lawsuit was filed by former staffer Deborah Curling.

“It’s a complaint detailing emotional abuse and sexual harassment on the set during Bob Barker’s fifteen year reign of terror as one of the show’s executive producers,” Debbie’s attorney, Nick Alden, tells The National Enquirer.

“The basis of the claim is that in fifteen years, at least seven lawsuits-all filed by women-were filed for discrimination ranging from sexual harassment to racial discrimination.”

Because of this alleged treatment, Debbie says she “has suffered and continued to suffer severe emotional and physical distress.”

In its latest crack at fusing white-knuckle adventure with cultural immersion, the Discovery Channel’s Last One Standing premieres tonight (9 p.m. EST), and back in July we got a chance to preview the show and meet the cast and crew as they rolled through Denver, Colorado, for some promotional shoots.

In a Survivor-is-for-wusses platform, three American and three British athletes go toe-to-toe with local tribesman—and each other—in sports like Trobriand Cricket, Vanuatu Canoe Race, Sumi Kick Fighting, and Zulu Stick Fighting. Blood flies, bones crunch, faces are painted, and even though each athlete comes from different fitness and sporting backgrounds—strong-man, BMX, kick-boxing, resistance training, mountaineering, and even cricket, polo, and rugby—they get pummeled, flattened, and basically humbled into the ground.

There’s an authenticity that works well in this kind of television. The outsiders aren’t coming in and dominating. Often, they’re getting their asses handed to them. “This experience has blown the roof off the comfort zone,” said Corey Rennell a mountaineer born on Kodiak Island. 

Sure, Last One Standing’s flush with some old-fashioned shots, montages, dramatic narration, etc.—but it’s also educational in a behind-the-culture “You tricked me into learning” style and there are genuine, Hail-Mary moments of suspense that should appeal to not only the sporting set but the documentary crowd as well, especially since part of the experience is having the guys not only compete with—and against—the locals, but also live, work, and eat with them, participating in local customs like healing rituals, rites of passage, and more. There’s no trailer for the cast to go back to and recoup on protein shakes and Gu—they’ve got to prepare, and sometimes kill, what they’re eating.

“It was more of an emotional thing when I had to kill a pig in Papua New Guinea,” said Richard Massey, a rugby and cricket player from Oxford.  “If you were going to eat meat, it’s something you had to confront.” 

“Everything we do is traditional,” added Jason Bennett, a BMX champ who makes his living as a high-climber for tree cutting companies in Florida. “Live with them, sleep with them.” And that includes the wilder culinary experience. “We had to castrate a sheep—with our bare hands!”

Tonight the cast throws down in Kalapalo wrestling in Brazil, a sport where the goal is to take your opponent down with a leg grab, flatting him on his back, or spinning him around.  The guys get smacked around, hurtled through the air, have sand thrown in their eyes, and pretty much get destroyed by the locals before earning their stripes, which also entails them participating in a “test of manhood,” involving snake teeth (use your imagination) before representing the tribe and competing against others. 

Later in the season, the show heads off to South Africa for Zulu Stick Fighting, Mexico for the Tarahumara Endurance Race, Nagaland for Sumi Kick Fighting, Mongolia for traditional wrestling, Kiriwina for Trobriand Cricket, Senegal for Sebegalese Wrestling, Papau New Guinea for Sepik Canoe Racing, Brazil for Kraho Log Running, Paqchanta for the Andean Ice Race, Java for Martial Arts, and Vanatau for a Canoe Race.

At the end of the day, the show works as is an inside—and sometimes violent— look at the roll sports and sporting culture play all over the world and at the very least, it should be interesting to see which athlete lands on the top of the heap. But, if the show can improve upon and keep up the pace of the first episode, the network could have a hit on it hands.

Of course, there’s one opponent it may not have the training to survive: CSI has the same time- slot. —Anthony Cerretani

“Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd. His skin was pale and his eye was odd. He shaved the faces of gentlemen who never thereafter were heard of again. He trod a path that few have trod. Did Sweeney Todd. The demon barber of Fleet. Street.”

That’s the memorable, propulsive opening of Stephen Sondheim’s musical Sweeney Todd–and it’s nowhere to be heard in DreamWorks/Paramount’s first trailer for the Tim Burton film, which downplays the score. The marketers are playing this one carefully. They don’t want to turn people off. They figure that they have the Sondheim and theater buffs who know the music. It’s everyone else they want to lure into the theater. Yes, Johnny Depp does break into song in this trailer. And he’s singing the right words to the right music. “At last my arm is complete again!” Yes, it does send a chill.

Abraham Lincoln - 16th President of the United States

Abraham Lincoln was born on February 12, 1809 in a log cabin in Hardin County (now LaRue County), Kentucky. He rose from humble origins and less than a year of formal education to become the 16th President of the United States, and one of the great men of American history.

Lincoln is credited with saving the Union from disintegration and eliminating slavery in America.

Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the US, walked 6 miles to pay back a few cents to a woman who had overpaid for dry goods at the store that Lincoln ran.
On November 6, 1860, Lincoln was elected as the 16th President of the United States, beating Democrat Stephen A. Douglas.