DENVER - Disgraced evangelical leader Ted Haggard’s former church disclosed Friday that the gay sex scandal that caused his downfall extends to a young male church volunteer who reported having a sexual relationship with Haggard - a revelation that comes as Haggard tries to repair his public image.

Brady Boyd, who succeeded Haggard as senior pastor of the 10,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs, told The Associated Press that the man came forward to church officials in late 2006 shortly after a Denver male prostitute claimed to have had a three-year cash-for-sex relationship with Haggard.

Boyd said an “overwhelming pool of evidence” pointed to an “inappropriate, consensual sexual relationship” that “went on for a long period of time … it wasn’t a one-time act.” Boyd said the man was in his early 20s at the time. He said he was certain the man was of legal age when it began.

Reached Friday night, Haggard declined to comment and said all interviews would have to be arranged through a publicist for HBO, which is airing a documentary about him this month.

Boyd said the church reached a legal settlement to pay the man for counseling and college tuition, with one condition being that none of the parties involved discuss the matter publicly.

Boyd said a Colorado Springs TV station reached him Thursday to say the young man was planning to provide a detailed report of his relationship with Haggard to the station. Boyd said the church preferred to keep the matter private, but it was the man’s decision to go public.

The disclosure comes as Haggard, 52, is about to give a series of high-profile interviews to promote the cable documentary about his time in exile. He is scheduled to appear on CNN’s Larry King Live on Thursday, the date of the documentary’s premiere, and already has taped “The Oprah Winfrey Show.”

In early 2007, New Life Church disclosed that an investigation uncovered new evidence that Haggard engaged in “sordid conversation” and “improper relationships” - but didn’t go into detail. Earlier, a church board member had said there was no evidence that Haggard had sexual relations with anyone but Mike Jones, the former male prostitute.

Haggard confessed to undisclosed “sexual immorality” after Jones’ allegations and resigned as president of the National Association of Evangelicals and from New Life Church, where he faced being fired.

Anticipating criticism of the settlement with the former church volunteer, Boyd said Friday that it was in the best interests of all involved. He would not name the volunteer or the settlement amount.

“It wasn’t at all a settlement to make him be quiet or not tell his story,” Boyd said. “Our desire was to help him. Here was a young man who wanted to get on with his life. We considered it more compassionate assistance - certainly not hush money. I know what’s what everyone will want to say because that’s the most salacious thing to say, but that’s not at all what it was.”

He said that “secondarily, it’s not great for our church either” that the story be told. Boyd said Haggard knew about the settlement two years ago.

In a letter e-mailed Friday to New Life Church members, Boyd said of the settlement and agreement not to talk: “This decision was made not as an attempt to conceal wrongdoings, but to protect him from those who would seek to exploit him. His actions now suggest that he has changed his mind.”

The letter said the church “received reports of a number of incidents of inappropriate behavior” after Haggard’s fall. “In each case, we have tried our very best to do the right thing each time, including disciplinary action when appropriate.”

Boyd said the “inappropriate behavior” referred to the man who was the volunteer involved with Haggard. After Haggard’s fall, another church staff member resigned after admitting to what was described as “sexual misconduct.”

Boyd said the church will not take action against the man if he tells his story in the press.

“We have legal standing to do that, but not the desire to,” he said.

Boyd said he had spoken to the man once and came away with the impression that he was speaking out because of the documentary. “I think what caused this young man to be a bit aggravated was Ted being seen as a victim, when he himself had experienced a great deal of hurt,” Boyd said. “I seriously doubt this man would have come forward if the documentary had not been made.”

A spokeswoman for the documentary, “The Trials of Ted Haggard,” declined to comment Friday.

David Clohessy, national director of SNAP, the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests - which has largely focused on the Catholic sexual abuse scandal but also speaks out on cases involving Protestant clergy - said the new disclosures about Haggard are more disturbing because they involves a church volunteer.

“Technically, legally, they were both adults,” Clohessy said. “Psychologically and emotionally, Haggard was dramatically more powerful. … By definition, any sexual contact between a congregant and minister is inherently abusive and manipulative.”

In an AP interview this month before an appearance in front of TV critics in California, Haggard described his sexuality as complex and something that can’t be put into “stereotypical boxes.”

Source:yahoo

Want to advance your career? Saying “no” may be the key.

“It’s wonderful to be the go-to person to a point — until you find you’re totally overwhelmed, exhausted, resentful and in a time crunch,” said Susan Newman, author of “The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It — And Mean It and Stop People-Pleasing Forever.” “Setting workplace boundaries means you will be doing better work and not spreading yourself all over the lot.”

Here’s how to get there:

1. Track your yeses.

You can’t set a boundary you don’t know you have, so watch yourself for a week, Newman said. Where do you say “yes”?

Do you agree to lunch with that coworker on the day of a major presentation?
Do you accept another project on top of the eight you already have?
Do you volunteer to change the printer’s ink cartridge for a harried coworker?
Do you work on the Saturday of your daughter’s recital?
2. Figure out your priorities.

“Every time you say yes, you’re giving up something,” said Newman. So get your priorities straight:

Do you need to be everyone’s best friend or be the last person to leave work each day? Or is it more important to choose projects that will advance your career and give yourself time to do them?

“You should always ask yourself, ‘Are these things moving me forward and gaining me respect, or is it just one more piece of busy work?’” she said.

3. Share them with your boss and coworkers.

Now that you know, let everyone you work with know in a clear, friendly way, said Debra Mandel, author of “Your Boss is Not Your Mother: Eight Steps to Eliminating Office Drama and Creating Positive Relationships At Work.”

“It’s valuable to inform people that you’re changing your approach to work,” she said. “You can simply say, ‘I know I’ve been overworking myself and so I’m going to start taking a little more time.’”

Scared to say it? You’re not alone. Some changes may be easier than others. Declining lunch with a coworker may be less frightening than declining a project from your boss.

So invite your boss into the decision-making: Of the 10 projects on your plate, which are highest priority? Can you work late during the week in return for having your weekends to yourself? Keep reminding your boss that you’re doing this to improve your work performance.

4. Keep doing it.

Now that you’ve set your boundary, your work is done. Right?

Wrong.

Expect your boss and coworkers to test you. Can’t you come out for drinks after work just this once? Can’t you take 10 minutes — OK, maybe 30 — to talk your coworker down from her latest crisis — even though you have work to do? Can’t you take on this one extra project? It’s a one-time thing, your boss swears.

“Keep setting boundaries,” Mandel said. “Usually people want to have healthier relationships, and they’ll adapt.”